Some thoughts on age

16 comments

Can I share some personal thoughts with you?
I'm thinking about age. Why do I feel I'm too old for certain things, because I (after more than 30 years) know myself better or do my preferences really change with years?

I got a reality check some time ago. I was 28 at the time and trust me (I'm not trying to flatter myself here) looking 28 or even slightly younger.
Shopping for a new pair of jeans I walked into Men At Work (a dutch clothes shop). While browsing through the clothes racks I found it hard to think with this loud music booming through the shop, what was looking for again?
A girl working there approached me, offering her assistance. I asked her (no, screamed at her) why the music was so loud. The answer? This is what our traget costumer likes. 'But to be frank, I'm not really fond of this, it makes me want to leave', I said. With a friendly smile on her face, this girl responded: 'Well, you're not our target costumer, you're to old'... Ouch.
When do you get too old for jeans? My wallet got bigger with age, not older. I rushed myself out there and didn't come back for a while...

The next time I dared to go there again, I was looking for shoes.
It was around lunch time when I walked down the stairs to the shoe basement. When looking through the boots department a (17, 18 year old?) girl came up to me. 'Hi there, shopping in the early morning?' Early morning!? It was noon, I had half a day behind me! 'Are you having a nice day off? How nice, shopping, hanging out in the city, good for you to enjoy yourself!' my self proclaimed shopping assistent chatted away...
Since when do these girls think they should address you as there new best friend? Is this a shop policy, act like your costumers BFF and they'll buy more?
It made me feel awkward, like when someone is standing to close to you and you don't want to tell them cause it makes you look cranky so you just stand there being uncomfortable (and smelling their bad breath). But worst of all, it made me feel old, stiff even.
Since then I've successfully ignored the Man at Work shops.

Some other things that make me feel old:
-festivals (crowds, loud music, people being too drunk)
-nights out that start at midnight (I've already fallen asleep on my couch while
 waiting for the appropriate time to go to a club),
-mobile phones used as a stereo in public transport
- people in their twenties calling me 'madame'

Am I getting old or did I never like these things just because it's not me and am I only now accepting this, accepting who I am? Probably, as always, a little bit of both.
Anyway it makes me more determent to do the things I do like:
-walks through the woods
-growing my own veggies
-having coffee (during the day or early evening) with friends
-seeing art house movies
-drawing and painting

Thank god there's lot's left, but one last question to you:
Am I the only one struggling with the this?



16 comments:

  1. Whahaha nee, je bent niet de enige!
    Weet je waar het ook zo erg is....bij the Sting, ook zo'n lawaaizaak, brrr! Dan moet ik inderdaad ook verstand op nul en door de rekken gaan.
    Festivals net zo, vroegah ging ik heel graag naar Lowlands enzo, nu moet ik er niet meer aan denken! (nu is het wel zo dat ik naar de 2de editie t/m de 7de ofzo ben geweest, dus toen was het ook daadwerkelijk rustiger :))
    Euhm tja, ik denk dat het wel leeftijd gerelateerd is. Bij mij in ieder geval wel. En dat is niet erg. Vind ik. :)

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  2. You're not alone! I noticed the same thing. I never really go out anymore, and when I did a while ago, I really felt so, so old. I didn't feel like dressing up, so I just wore jeans and a shirt. I was older than everyone else. I wasn't drunk. I didn't know most of the songs. And I was so bored by all the 20-yr-old guys using lame pick up lines while all I really wanted to do is have a nice chat with my friends over a glass of red wine. Haha. I felt completely ancient. Also, the next morning was terrible. I used to never have a hangover, and now I needed like three days to recover.

    I think on the one hand I am just getting older. I used to LOVE partying, haha. Not necessarily getting drunk, but dancing and just enjoying myself. But then again, I didn't have a job to go to every day - it wouldn't really matter if I didn't get enough sleep. Also, I had tons of friends around me all the time living on a college campus, so I could always have those important conversations whenever. Now I just want some quality time with people.

    Then, also, I think it's what you said: I know myself better. I have less tolerance for bullshit and people who aren't really that important to me. I prioritize. And some things just aren't worth it. Like staying up really late when I need my rest to work on projects I care about. REAL talks with people that are actually interesting to me. Pursuing my artistic and professional goals. Spending my money on things I know I can keep for a long time and will value.

    So, it's both. :-) And I don't think it's really that terrible, because I've also noticed that with age, I care less about what other people think. Whenever I see seventeen year old girls like that working in stores like that, I think "ah yes, I did that, too. I worked in a store like this. She'll grow over it". :-)

    Sorry for the rant, but it's been something I've been thinking about for a while as well.

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  3. Heel herkenbaar hoor. Ik wordt in oktober 36 en dat vind ik echt de grens waarop je nooit meer meisje genoemd kan worden, toch?!:)Ik heb het meteen geaccepteerd toen ik 30 werd: de jaren ervoor zijn veel jonge mensen in mijn omgeving gestorven. "Dit heb ik maar gehaald" dacht ik toen ik 30 werd.

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    1. Ik bedoel word zonder t natuurlijk!

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  4. In een bepaalde zin ben ik zeker qua interesses al sinds de middelbare school 'n geestelijk bejaarde en dat vond ik toen ook wel al okee, dus ik heb er niet zo'n last van. ;) Maar ik herken wel dingen, hoor. Die harde muziek (in de Sting ook, inderdaad)... daar kan ik echt niet meer tegen. En uitgaan? Wat is dat? Oh, ja. Dat deed ik een decennium geleden. En vaak. Maar zo erg is dat eigenlijk niet, die veranderingen. Iets met kwaliteit en kwantiteit, denk ik. Ook wat vriendschappen betreft. :)

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  5. First an answer to your question: No, you are definitely not the only one! :-)

    I feel exactly the same whenever I enter clothes shops. The music is way too loud (and very bad too). I am only in the middle of my twenties and I have felt like that for years. I do not understand if the target costumers are only the teenagers. Do they even have enough money to go shopping all the time? And the other things that make you feel old: I totally agree upon that. Regarding nights out that starts at midnight: I have never liked it. But maybe it is just because my body refuses to sleep until noon. I always wake up early in the morning. And I need my eight hours of sleep (have needed that my entire life), so going out that late does not fit with my body and mind. Often I find that I do not know the music that are played at parties and such. So... I recognize your thoughts about feeling old - and I am only in the middle of my twenties!

    Maybe it is just because we find amusement and pleasure in other things than most people do? I do not think it has to do with age, necessarily...

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  6. I'm 27 and feel exactly the same way. My things I like to do list is exactly like yours and I'm also falling asleep on the couch by midnight. When I was 23, I decided to move out to the country for a year to see what it would be like. I was shocked at how content I was to sit around and cook, paint, and stare at the stars. I knew if I appreciated this at 23 I would surely end up in full-blown grandma mode in no time. But hey, you gotta do what makes you happy. Coffee with friends and paintings sound more cosy than a night out at the clubs. :)

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  7. Hihi herkenbaar ja. Was laatst ook bij die winkel en voelde bijna de ogen van de verkoopsters in mijn rug prikken...ik ben dan ook AL 35. Ik denk altijd dat ik net afgestudeerd ben en realiseer me dan met een schok dat het al een jaar of zestien geleden is dat ik met studeren begon ;-)
    Maar weet je, ik ben wel veel blijer dan vroeger. En niet zo snel van mijn stuk te brengen. Dat is geweldig toch!

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  8. I think it's the thing you said about knowing what you want and how you want to spend your energy and time. I am 27 and I also don't like going to clubs (maybe once in a while but not on regular basis) and get drunk every weekend or things like that... sometimes I think that I must be really old inside :) and sometimes I remember when some people said to me "you have to party when you're young" and things like that but I think that if I don't miss it now, I will not miss it later... I guess when you're a teenager you are still "finding" yourself and you still reaching out for friends, you don't have many responsibilities and things like that... and you wanna be independent so it feels great to go out in the late hours and so... ah, I am babbling, all I wanted to say that I think that the most important thing is that we live our lives the way it makes us happy and not like others think we should because we are old as we are...

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  9. wat een leuke blog heb je! en haha, je verhaal is ook voor mij heel herkenbaar en ik ben pas 23 :)

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  10. no it's not only you kim :)
    i think as we grow up we see things from another angle, maybe a little wiser too.
    and we keep what is really good for us & maybe we try to know the important things in this life.
    .
    i hate loud music in shops too... makes my head heart...

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  11. Thank you all so much for your lovely comments! It's so nice to hear I'm not the only one. Maybe we should form a club: 'the delicate sools & early birds' ;-)
    Thanks again to you all!

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  12. Ha ha Kim! Clearly from all the comments above you are not alone... plus you are gorgeous and definitely don't look a day over 25 ;-)
    Lately I have exactly the same problem when I go the gym group classes. At 37 I am always the oldest in the class. But that is part of living in a student city, the young ones just keep streaming in every year. Pretty much unavoidable.
    I'll join your club any day!

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  13. ooo, hoe herkenbaar. Heerlijk stuk! En ja, ik denk dat het voor mij met ouder worden te maken heeft, maar dat is prima... Als ik terug denk aan al die onzekerheden die bij jong (en wild en vrij) horen, dan ben ik blij met de rust en (beetje meer) zelfkennis die er voor in de plaats gekomen zijn.

    Groet van parttime avonturierster, fulltime huismus.

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  14. Ha, ja opluchting..ik ben dus niet de enige. Afgelopen zomer besloot ik de festivals (even?) over te slaan en het voelde als een bevrijding (voor de context: een 31er :)

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